Lil Introduction, Fall Out Boy, and Being a Covergirl

Welcome, beware

Hi! ⭐⭐⭐ So, I figured I'd make a little blog to leave some digital footprint since I feel like I can be an oversharer, but at the same time I have few (but precious!) people to overshare to. I have lots of things to say and I figured maybe this is a good way of letting those thoughts flow without them consuming me. I'll be talking about just random occurrences in my life, data I've gathered from being chronically online during my formative years, maybe solid pieces of research! (Maybe!), but mainly just whatever I want.

A lot of my friends are dipping their toes into stuff like podcasts, radio shows, even shitpost Instagram accounts. I mean, I think it's great for them! Similarly, a silly old blog seems like a great way for me to spend my spare time and feel like I'm doing something more productive than binge-watching Game of Thrones. I can practice my writing, I don't have to show my gorgeous face (as of now I have very little privacy, but I would like to make videos of something at some point), I don't have to stutter while I speak, it doesn't take up too much of my time, when I'm famous, people may find it and be like "huh", and it might just help me talk to myself less!

An alternative to doing this was starting my personal radio show because I loveee music, but I don't wanna steal my friend's idea and it feels like more work. Her show is actually pretty great! Shout out to my girl Cherry from Cherry on Top; she talks about her favorite songs because it's her show! Check her out and maybe you can buy her some chai tea.  

What does Fall Out Boy have to do with anything, bitch?

If I had my own radio show I'd be playing bangers tho. Mainly Beyoncé, SZA and HELLA Fall Out Boy. My obsession with Fall Out Boy goes back a little longer than my obsession with Beyoncé. They helped me express my angsty yet innocent 13-year-old self. I started listening to them at 11, but I only started learning the actual lyrics at age 13.

I wasn't aware of the whole situation with Patrick being just incomprehensible when he sang, I was barely getting a grasp of the English language, I thought that was how every American person sounded like (not too far from reality). Also, y'know? I can't really say I relate too hard to Fall Out Boy's lyrics because WHAT DO YOU MEAN "wear me like a locket around your throat, I'll weigh you down, I'll watch you choke, you look so good in blue, you look so good in blue"???? That's uh. You should get that checked.

One of their more out-there songs I would consider is "Love, Sex, Death". A very self-descriptive title. For Fall Out Boy I would argue too short of a song name. It's quite brief and fast-paced and I think that makes it somewhat funny. Funny but like in an emo way. 

I might find some of their choices to be kinda funny, but they really eat the other 2000s emo girlies up; more than one of their songs talks about the effects of excessive fame and money. Yes, Fall Out Boy was quite famous in the 2000s. Believe it or not, children, they were even more famous than Kim Kardashian at one point! (I was 4 the year that the Thnks Fr Th Mmrs music video came out). When they talk about fame, the band basically just says "we are dressed cool, and we got a lot of money, but we are taking advantage of you, so don't trust us, but like, buy this album please".

In addition, some Fall Out Boy quick facts:

1. The song "Bang the Doldrums" from their album Infinity on High (my personal favorite) was supposed to be featured in one of the transcendental cult classic Shrek movies. The movie producing people just thought it didn't fit the overall Shrékesque vibe. 
2. The song titled "Our Lawyer Made Us Change the Name of This Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued" (probably their longest song title) from their album "From Under the Cork Tree" was originally going to be titled "My Name is David Ruffin and These Are the Temptations". Probably because they talk about overestimating fame. They have quite the sense of humor. 
3. I have an entire playlist that consists solely of Fall Out Boy songs.

You look like Linda Evangelista, you're a model

Talking about fame and success (this has little to nothing to do with Fall Out Boy, I just struggle to stay on topic), midway writing this I found out that one of the girls I went to middle school with got recruited with a kinda big-time modeling agency. I mean, good for her. She always had very clean skin, but I remember making the suggestion that she wear sunscreen since she spent a lot of time under the sun. I'm not ever going to speak to anyone* from middle school ever again though, y'all stay safe.

Since middle school I've had a terrible posture and the acnes (it's gotten WAY better though! I also have bangs!), but now I've gained confidence, I think I'd be a fierce contender if we had to face-off in Mexico's Next Top Model or something (though I would inevitably lose because I can't wear heels). I like my face structure actually; it makes me look quite androgynous. If only I had a slimmer face. If only. 

Still, one thing about me: I'm so confident in my appearance that I know I could be in Vogue, or at the very least Vanity Fair. To feature in a magazine at some point of my life is one of my goals. I have a "vision board" (a piece of paper glued to the ceiling). In this vision board I drew different dreams of mine: to own a big house near the mountains and the woods, make my own film, and then there's also a bunch of doodles of me with a snatched waist and makeup that represent me, modeling.

Seeing that others get to do the things I've wanted to do since I was like, 10, makes me quite bitter. I understand that everybody's supposed to blossom at their own time, but COMEE ONN. Other people being born with privilege has SO MUCH to do with them getting to live their dreams or not, like we cannot gloss over that. Being born into a rich, carefree family has a LOT to do with if you can go to college, Mary. However, I can either choose to waste away while being jealous of the rich folk, or I can take matters into my own hands and work towards my goals! That's exhausting though!

I care a lot about my own self-preservation (is that redundant? "my own self-preservation?" idk). I'm very empathetic, but I gotta put me first! If I don't wanna do something, and I don't HAVE to do something? Then it's not going to be done! With that being said, with my best interest in mind, I will now stop writing. I'll leave you with one of my favorite Fall Out Boy quotes:

"Figured on, not figuring myself out", from G.I.N.A.S.F.S.

Thanks for reading! Maybe it will get better, maybe it won't! 

-X

*with the exception of my actual friends